25 Successful Turn Down Responses for Ugly Women

Greetings gentlemen! Why only gentlemen and no ladies you ask??? Well this post really is not geared towards women, I’m sorry.  Its okay ladies you are more than welcome take the time out and read this post also, but anyway let’s move along. I am always over hearing women complaining about men that they are uninterested in, attempting to get their number at the club, supermarket, free clinic, Ikea, bank, church, rehab, bbq, beach, Tom Hank’s basement, mall, and etc. Women love joking and laughing about how they turn these dudes down. Well I have news for you, if you like it or not some women kick game to men too and just like women we have a way of turning down the opposite sex who we are not interested in also. Now when I say uninterested I mean like the sneak preview of the movie The Incredible Hulk 3 coming out in summer 2012. Nope I’m not breaking my neck.

Yes, if you’re a male who actually cares about what kind of women you are attracted too, you may share common excuses/responses for these women. For example men may turn down a girl because they might be ugly, fat, has kids, has one/no leg(s), has a lazy eye, smells like apple wood smoked bacon, bald/nappy headed, smokes, ghetto, 6’7, devil worshiper, hairy, bad breath, a drug addict, talks too much, has a STD, she slept with your boy, and etc. Whatever you understand my point! Today fellas I’m going to teach you some of my favorite excuses/responses to tell these unattractive women that you’re not interested. Hopefully my experiences in this topic will be detrimental. Oooo “detrimental” I like that word.

Female: “Hey sexy, wanna dance”???

#1. Naaaaa…

#2. Let’s Pray. (Bows head)

#3. No thank you I’m kinda tired.

#4. Did someone fart? (Looks around)

#5. (Don’t feel like talking?) Throw your drink in her face* Beat it Monkey Hoe!

#6. I really would love to baby but, my jealous ex con baby mom is here and I’d hate for you to get thrown off a random cliff. You probably have a mom, dad, sister and brother that would miss you dearly. You understand what I’m saying right?

#7. I on beat women.

#8. I was born with a penis and two vaginas.

#9. Now if I dance with you will you promise to buy me a gun so I can shoot myself in the foot for being seen with you on the dance floor?

#10. Hoe you can’t be foreal, did my boy Chris put you up to this? I’m sorry for wasting your time. He alwaaaaayssss playin’!

#11. (After song goes off) So???… uh how much are you for the evening? I only have $3.81 on me? Hope that’s enough for two hours?

#12. Sure baby, we can cut a rug! Hey you don’t mind being on TV though, because  A&E’s “Intervention” camera crew is here filming me for their next season???

#13. (Pulls out a stick & throws it) Fetch!!!Uhhh but this time don’t come back… ever.

#14. If you don’t get away from me, I’m going to call the police.

#15. As long as bring your leash on the dance floor.

#16. I don’t dance with men.

#20. Does this dance include happy ending after? I will accept a hot fudge sundae if your lips are broke its coo.

#21. RRRRAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#22. Yeah lets boogie! I hope you can dance like my ex-girlfriend, because I love the way she use to move!

#23. Well Wow!!!  I didn’t know unsuccessful abortions could talk and dance???

#24. I have feeling I’m just going to pass you off to my homeboy after 15 seconds of being bored with dancing. So no Thankyou.

#25. I’m sorry, I’m not that drunk yet.

Look! NOW I know what everyone is thinking, most of these replies are going to get you slapped! Your right they probably will get you slapped. Shoot probably might even get you beat up outside the club if she about business!  Hey I’m here to give ideas on getting these goblins out your face, not advice about what to do when she pulls out a pistol! My suggestion for you fellas is to be ready for anything. I had a many more responses I wanted to share with you but, I realized that majority of them will get you either killed in broad day light or turned up missing… and I must admit I can’t get more subscribers to my blog site if they are not living anymore.

Hey everyone do me a huge favor please share your personal turn down approaches by commenting & subscribe, before I get mad!!! Thankyou.

My name Vern.

Advertisements

HOOD CLUBS SUX!!!

Imagine you’re in the club/bar, doing the same ol’ two step, dreads head shakin’ to some Waka Flocka (sigh kids dezz days & their choice of music but that’s another blog in the future) & BAAAAMMM!!!! You slip and fall on the floor! Embarrassing right??? Did you slip on spilled beer perhaps? You look down and you can’t help but notice the substance you slipped on is blood! Ahhhh nawwww did they just sacrifice a goat before I came? No lets be real you’re in a Philadelphia. Somene was shanked definitely. Instantly you think to yourself. That’s the main reason why I don’t do hood clubs! Here are few other reason why I refuse to step foot in hood clubs.

#1 Sweaty women, yes there is always at least one on the dance floor (usually a big girl). They smell like they ran 20 laps around the club. They will dance with any guy that grabs them. Hey but I know one guy they won’t dance with and that’s Muaaah! Me smelling good + you sweating and smelling like hot dog water + dancing = my head over a public stall throwing up. Don’t touch me girl!

#2 Fighting in the club. “So… Mr. Bouncer you mean to tell me everyone has to leave because a couple of Negros that don’t have any type of solid home training??? Can I get my $15/$20 refunded at least my $5 toll money I used to cross this bridge?!!??” I really dislike leaving the club because of other people foolish actions, its like when my peas touch my mashed potatoes! Here is a thought kick them ignorant animals out and let’s keep the party going!

#3 False advertising party flyers!  I love looking at party/club flyers with beautiful and sexy women on the front.  The sad part about is they are NEVER there and none of the females even look remotely close to the model on the front of the flyer.

Me: (taps bouncer) Excuse me brah uhhh… yeah ummm where is this pretty hoe at? I’ve been in this club for an hour and I haven’t seen her yet! (Pointing to model on the flyer)

Bouncer: Lol idk but when you find her let me know n*gga, she bad as hell! (pats me on the back & walks away) amp;

Me: (mumbles) This some b.s , I got my Sunday’s best on and all… what a waste!

#4 Mean muggers get a life. You’re at the club to have fun and enjoy yourself, why so serious??? I’m not trying to test your gangsta dawg, naaa not at all. I’m just trying to test your girl.

#5 Long lines and lazy pat downs smh.  There is nothing I hate more than waiting in line in the club for a million years especially if fellas are in for free at a certain time! By the time I get to the front of the line, Wayne Brady will realize he is black! To top it off the door men are doing some lazy weapon searches!  Sorry if I don’t want to get poked or split wide open because of a stray bullet!

#6 Too hot to be in the club! I love partying with my fellow black people don’t get me wrong, but there is one problem… we attract toooooooooooooo much HEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and humidity! Club owners if you have a preponderantly black establishment we need air condition! Chillin in the club should not feel like a African slave ship voyage! Especially reggae clubs they are the worst, plus I don’t really care for the music anyway… it all sounds the same too me. No offence.

#7 Hood Rat Women… too easy… NEXT!!!

#8 Buying women drinks. I have no problem buying drinks, especially for my female friends because they sometimes return the favor, so it’s all love. NOW if I don’t know you and you’re trying to flirt with me just for a free drink??? Are WE doing the naked dance later if I buy you a drink? Na didn’t think so! In that case go kick landmines lil nigglet! Matter fact buy your own drinks, I believe they accept EBT cards here!

Continue reading

White Women Over Everything!

Okay I know what you’re thinking, “How dare you have the courage to title your first blog White Women over Everything”! Just think about it, how else would I get your attention to read my first blog right??? Trust me there is a method to my ideas. With that being said let’s move on.

Interracial dating has been around many of years but accepted by less. As for me personally I could really careless what the next woman or man prefers to date. White, black, yellow, blue (if your into people that resemble Skeeter from the cartoon Doug). I only have an issue when people get involved with someone for the wrong reasons such as money, sex, power & etc. Why draw the line because of race! Yeah sometimes it looks funny in public and some can’t help but to stare like the couple are a museum exhibit. At the end of the day it’s all about whom you love and who makes you happy.

I have plenty of friends who experiment with other races especially white women. I don’t look down on them, it’s just the hand that they were dealt and have to deal with. I don’t look at them as my black friend with his white girl no, more along the lines of my home boy and his girl.

Ahhh yes my strong beautiful black descendants of Africa females, I have not forgotten about you. You all can please put your protest signs down. I come in peace. A good majority of African-American women despise the idea of black men dating outside their race as if we belong to you??? Here we go let’s hear it. “Black men who date outside their race can’t handle a strong black woman.” (In my best angry bitter black woman voice impression) pretty good impression huh? Ever thought that maybe it about timing or personality? Jamal could possibility have trouble connecting and relating to your personality same goes for any race! This is what kills me though people are the first to judge you on whom want to be with, but when it comes to them they get a pass. Disagree with me if you please, that’s on you but I respect your opinion.

I personally have only dated black females, not really by choice but because of good connection. Not to say I’ll never be with some of a different ethnicity, I don’t know at the end of the day I just want love. Until then chicken and hoes will be my standard diet for now.

My name Vern